Episode 620: Bailee Madison transcript
Prologue: The Guest Star's dressing room On Door Scooter: "(Guest Star's Name), oh, (Guest Star's Name), 15 2nds 'til curtain, Miss (Guest Star's Last Name). Guest Star: "Thanks, Scooter, I always liked performing with you guys." Scooter: "How have you been doing lately?" Guest Star: "Pretty good, thank you." Kermit appears through The Muppet Show logo....... Kermit: "It's The Muppet Show, with our very special guest star, Miss Bailee Madison, yaaaaaay!" [Upbeat Version Of The Muppet Show Theme Song Playing In Background] Music Begins Female Muppet friends: It's time to play the music, it's time to light the lights, it's time to meet the Muppets on The Muppet Show tonight Male Muppet friends: it's time to put on make up, it's time to dress up right, it's time to raise the curtain on The Muppet Show tonight Waldorf: why do we always come here? Statler: I guess we'll never know Waldorf: it's like some kind of torture Statler and Waldorf: to have to watch the show Continues Playing In Background Kermit: and now let's get things started Miss Piggy: why don't you get things started?' Kermit and Muppet friends: It's time to get things started on the most sensational, inspirational, celebrational, Muppetational, this is what we call The Muppet Show..... Of Tarzans Jungle Shouting Scene 1: Onstage/The introduction Kermit: "Thank you, everybody, and welcome back again to The Muppet Show, it's a very exciting night, 'cause tonight's special guest star is Miss (Guest Star's Name), and that's not all, she's been in Bridge to Terabithia, Cory in the House, Phoebe in Wonderland, Letters to God, Don't Be Afraid of the Dark and of course, Just Go With It, but 1st, it's time for an opening musical #." Bunsen: "Oh, Kermit, I must tell you that I just finished designing 1 of my latest inventions: the Body Switcher 300, but you need to watch out for it, 'cause it makes you switch bodies and voices with another resident." Kermit: "Oh thanks for telling me that, Dr. Honeydew." Bunsen: "You're very welcome, let's go, Beaker." Beaker: "Mee, mo, mee, mo, mee, mo, mee." Kermit: "Anyway, here's Miss Piggy performing the Macarena with Manola and Carlo Flamingo." Opening Musical #: the Macarena Playing In Background Manola and Carlo: AAAHAA, AAAHAA, AAAHAA Continues Playing In Background Miss Piggy: When I dance, they call me Macarena and the boys, they say que soy buena they all want me, they can't have me so they all come and dance beside me move with me, chat with me and if your good, I'll take you home with me move with me, chat with me and if your good, I'll let you dance with me Manola and Carlo: dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegria y cosa buena dale a tu cuerpo alegria, Macarena heeeeey Macarena AAAHAA dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegria y cosa buena dale a tu cuerpo alegria, Macarena heeeeey Macarena AAAHAA! Miss Piggy: now don't you worry about my boyfriend, the boy whose name is Kermitino I don't want him, couldn't stand him he was no good, so I "Now come on, what was I suppose to do? he was out of town, and his 2 friends were so fine." Manola and Carlo: dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegria y cosa buena dale a tu cuerpo alegria, Macarena heeeeey Macarena AAAHAA AAAHAA AAAHAA AAAHAA AAAHAA Miss Piggy: come find me, my name is Macarena always at the party con las chicas que estan buenas come join me, dance with me and all you fellas chat along with me Manola and Carlo: dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegria y cosa buena dale a tu cuerpo alegria, Macarena heeeeey Macarena AAAHAA dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegria y cosa buena dale a tu cuerpo alegria, Macarena heeeeey Macarena AAAHAA dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegria y cosa buena dale a tu cuerpo alegria, Macarena heeeeey Macarena AAAHAA! Cut to Statler and Waldorf in the balcony......... Waldorf: "So have you ever done the Macarena before?" Statler: "No, but I did the Locomotion before in my entire life." Waldorf: "Long live the king of disco music!" Statler and Waldorf: Uncontrollably Cut back to Kermit in his office backstage...... Kermit: "Let's see, what's next? oh, Bear on Patrol is next, Bear on Patrol is next onstage, everybody!" ''Bear on Patrol'' sketch #: Trying to steal a sail boat Announcer: "And now, ridding the world of evil, here's Bear on Patrol." Fozzie/Patrol Bear: "Alright, Rizzo, right this way." Rizzo: "I dun didn't do it, I swear, it wuzn't me!" Link Hogthrob/Officer Hogthrob: "So what is the problem this time, Patrol Bear?" Fozzie/Patrol Bear: "This rat was trying to steal a sail boat." Link Hogthrob/Officer Hogthrob: "I see, bring him over here to me." Fozzie/Patrol Bear: "Yes, Officer Hogthrob, sir." Link Hogthrob/Officer Hogthrob: "What is your name, little brown rat?" Rizzo: Rizzo de Rat, kind sir, and I'm innocent, I didn't steal a sail boat, I wuz just lookin' at it." Link Hogthrob/Officer Hogthrob: "Well, Rizzo, you're innocent after all, so, Patrol Bear, you can let him go right now." Fozzie/Patrol Bear: "No problem, Officer Hogthrob." Rizzo: "Oh, dank you." Fozzie/Patrol Bear: "You're welcome." Talk Spot: Kermit and The Guest Star speak with 1 another about what they like to do on summer vacation Kermit: "So, Guest Star's 1st name, what do you like to do on summer vacation?" Guest Star: "Well, Kermit, I like going nature hiking, playing on the beach and splashing around in swimming pools." Kermit: "Sounds fun and exciting, well, I like going to nature preserves myself." Guest Star: "Then I don't blame you for that." ''At the Dance sketch''#: I Wanna Hold Your Hand Rock Music Playing In Background Clifford: Oh yeah, I'll tell you somethin' I think you'll understand when I say that somethin' I wanna hold your hand I wanna hold your hand I wanna hold your hand Gonzo: oh please, say to me you'll let me be your man And please say to me you'll let me hold your hand now let me hold your hand I wanna hold your hand Floyd: and when I touch you, I feel happy, inside it's such a feeling that my love I can't hide I can't hide I can't hide Scooter: yeah, you, got that something I think you'll understand when I say that something I wanna hold your hand I wanna hold your hand I wanna hold your hand Sam's Editorial Speech Sam: "And now, I'' will tell you about stealing, and how bad it is." Sam: "Stealing is against the law, it can be very harmful to other people, so take my advice of the 10 commandments: Thou shall not steal." ''Pigs in Space sketch #: Wireless Jukebox Announcer: "And now, Pigs in Spaaaace, starring Captain Link Hogthrob, 1st Mate Piggy, and the scientific genius, Dr. Strangepork." Announcer: "Where we last left the Swine Trek crew, Dr. Strangepork came up with a very unique idea." Link Hogthrob: "Boy, it sure is boring around here." Miss Piggy/1st Mate Piggy: "I just wish life was more entertaining." Dr. Strangepork: "Hey, check it out, my newest invention: the Wireless Jukebox, it plays real good music, and you don't even need to plug it in." Link Hogthrob: "How charming and fascinating." Dr. Strangepork: "Observe and watch." Dr. Strangepork puts 2 dimes in the Wireless Jukebox. [Mahnah-Mahnah Playing On Wireless Jukebox] Link Hogthrob: "Music to my ears." Announcer: "Will Dr. Strangepork ever get carried away with the Wireless Jukebox? does 1st Mate Piggy know what she's doing recently? will Captain Link Hogthrob ever take control of the Swine Trek? find out on the next exciting episode of Pigs in Spaaace." Swedish Chef sketch #: Cinnamon apple strudels Playing In Background Swedish Chef: Yorn desh born, der ritt de gitt der gue, orn desh, dee born desh, de umn bork, bork, bork Swedish Chef: "Tuneeght, ve-a're-a mekeeng ceennemun epple-a stroodels." Swedish Chef: "Furst, ve-a preheet zee oofee tu three-a hoondred und feeffty degrees." Swedish Chef:"Next, ve-a poot in oooor ingredeeents." Swedish Chef: "Rull oooot seex leyers ooff phyllu duoogh." The Swedish Chef rolls out 6 layers of phyllo dough. Swedish Chef: "Poot in oone-a fuoort coop ooff broon sooger." The Swedish Chef puts 1/4 cup of brown sugar in the mixing bowl. Swedish Chef: "Next, oone-a steeck ooff bootter." The Swedish Chef puts 1 stick of butter in the mixing bowl as well. Swedish Chef: "One-a teespuun ooff ceennemun." The Swedish Chef puts 1 teaspoon of cinnamon in the mixing bowl as well too. Swedish Chef: "Three-a grunny smeet epples, peeled, cured und deeced." The Swedish Chef peels 3 granny smith apples, then peels them, cores them and dices them, and puts them in the phyllo dough. Swedish Chef: "Tvu teble-a spuuns ooff sooger." The Swedish Chef puts 2 tablespoons of sugar in the mixing bowl as well too. Swedish Chef: "One-a helff teespuun ooff ceennemun." The Swedish Chef puts 1/2 teaspoon of cinnamon in the mixing bowl as well too. Swedish Chef: "Und lest boot nut leest, oone-a helff coop ooff reeesins tu feenish it ooffff." The Swedish Chef puts 1/2 cup of raisins in the mixing bowl to finish it off. Swedish Chef: "Und noo ve-a meex up zee ingredeeents." The Swedish Chef mixes up the ingredients, then spreads it right on the apple strudels, 'til the cinnamon apple strudels begin break dancing. Swedish Chef: "Vhet zee hey." Cut back to Kermit in his office backstage again...... Kermit: "Oh boy, this is a very unique show." Bunsen and Beaker show up with the Body Switcher 300. Bunsen: "Ah, Kermit, you're about to see Beaker test out the Body Switcher 300." Kermit: "No doubt about it." Bunsen: "Go ahead, Beaker, pull down the lever." Beaker: Voice Mee, mee. Beaker pulls down the lever, and something crazy happens. Kermit goes into Bunsen's body, and Bunsen goes into Kermit's body Gonzo goes into Beaker's body and Beaker goes into Gonzo's body, Miss Piggy goes into Rizzo's body, and Rizzo goes into Miss Piggy's body, Fozzie goes into Sam's body and Sam goes into Fozzie's body, the Swedish Chef goes into Crazy Harry's body, and the Swedish Chef goes into Crazy Harry's body, Robin goes into Dr, Teeth's body, and Dr. Teeth goes into Robin's body, Janice goes into Dr. Strangepork's body, and Dr. Strangepork goes into Janice's body, Floyd goes into Link Hogthrob's body, and Link Hogthrob goes into Floyd's body, Scooter goes into Lew Zealand's body, and Lew Zealand goes into Scooter's body, Rowlf goes into Pepe's body, and Pepe goes into Rowlf's body, and Walter goes into Clifford's body, and Clifford goes into Walter's body. Bunsen (in Kermit's body): "Perfect, well done, Beaker." Beaker (in Gonzo's body): "Mee, mo, mee." Kermit (in Bunsen's body): "What just happened here?" Kermit (in Bunsen's body) realizes what just happened. Kermit (in Bunsen's body): "Oh my word, I'm in Dr. Honeydew's body!" Bunsen (in Kermit's body): "It's not just you who switched bodies and voices with me, Kermit, all of us did." Gonzo (in Beaker's body): "I look like a cylinder head man in a science lab coat, I can't let Camilla see me like this!" Scooter (in Lew Zealand's body): "This is going outta control!" Lew Zealand (in Scooter's body): "It sure is." Miss Piggy (in Rizzo's body): "I hate looking like a little brown rat." Rizzo (in Miss Piggy's body): "Dis is drivin' me crazy!" Fozzie (in Sam's body): "I don't wanna look like an American blue eagle!" Sam (in Fozzie's body): "And I certainly don't wanna look like a bear with comedy." Walter (in Clifford's body): "Hey, you guys, wait up, I've got an idea, you guys wait right here, I'm gonna go tell (Guest Star's name), and ask her how we can get back to our normal selves again." Clifford (in Walter's body): "Hurry back, Walter, I can't stand lookin' like you for a very long time." Crazy Harry (in the Swedish Chef's body): "I look even more crazy!" Swedish Chef (in Crazy Harry's body): "Nut es crezy es yuoo elveys luuk." Suddenly, they hear a door opening...... Floyd (in Link Hogthrob's body): "Hey look, here comes Walter with our guest star!" Link Hogthrob (in Floyd's body): "She'll know what to do." Guest Star: "Hey, you guys, what's going on?" Janice (in Dr. Strangepork's body): "Oh, (Guest Star's 1st name), we got body switched." Dr. Strangepork (in Janice's body): "And we need to switch back to our normal selves again." Guest Star: "It's very simple, all you need to do is pull the lever back up again." Rowlf (in Pepe's body): "Good thinking, (Guest Star's 1st name)." Pepe (in Rowlf's body): "Si, let's hope this works, okay." Bunsen (in Kermit's body): "Oh, Beaker, did you hear that? we have a scientific # 1 girl genius!" Beaker (in Gonzo's body): "Mee, mo, mo, mee, mee, mee." Beaker (in Gonzo's body) pulls the lever back up again, and everybody else is back to their normal selves. Kermit: "Alright, we're back to our normal selves again, come on, everybody, let's do the rest of the show, now what's next?" Kermit: "Oh, right, Veterinarian's Hospital is next, Veterinarian's Hospital is next onstage, everybody!" ''Veterinarian's Hospital'' sketch: Animal as the patient Announcer: "And now, Veterinarian's Hospital, the continuing story of a quack, whose gone to the dogs." Rowlf/Dr. Bob: "And so, I went for a nice long walk around the beach, and guess what I saw up ahead? a real big sand castle up ahead!" Janice/Nurse Janice: "Oh, Dr. Bob, you crack me up." Miss Piggy/Nurse Piggy: "So, Dr. Bob, where's our patient?" Rowlf/Dr. Bob: "He's right here, Nurse Piggy." Rowlf/Dr. Bob pulls back the corner of the green sheets to reveal Animal. Janice/Nurse Janice: "Oh wow, he looks real peculiar." Rowlf/Dr. Bob: "So, what seems to be your problem?" Animal: "Achy......chest....pains." Miss Piggy/Nurse Piggy: "He's even more hairy looking than I thought he would be." Announcer: "Will Dr. Bob ever give his advice to his patient? will Nurse Janice ever get her newspaper article written? will Nurse Piggy ever be on a Health and Fitness Magazine cover? tune in next week when you hear Nurse Piggy say-" Miss Piggy/Nurse Piggy: "Dr. Bob, do you have anything to say about this patient?" Rowlf/Dr. Bob: "I say he's 1 talented rock and roll drummer." Cut back to Statler and Waldorf in the balcony again.......... Statler: "So, Waldorf, have you ever had any medical issues?" Waldorf: "No, but I once took some sleeping pills right before I went to bed." Statler: "Well, I've taken a lot of X-Ray tests myself." Waldorf: "Good idea, keep those bones and muscles in shape!" Statler and Waldorf: Uncontrollably Again Cut back to Kermit in his office backstage once again...... Kermit: "Muppet Labs is next, Muppet Labs is next onstage, everybody!" ''Muppet Labs'' sketch #: Flipping Pizza Popper 500 Ticking [Muppet Labs Theme Music Playing In Background] Bunsen: "Welcome again to Muppet Labs, where the future is being made today." Beaker: "Mee, mee, mo, mee, mee." Bunsen: "Well, we've got something very interesting to tell all of you people out there." Bunsen: "Are you tired of making boring pizzas in the oven? or waiting 12 hours for a pizza delivery? well, with the Flipping Pizza Popper 500, it does it all instantly, you just simply put a frozen pizza in our toaster-like box, but for this 1, we'll have Beaker put it in for us, (he turns over to Beaker.) go ahead, Beaker, put it in there." Beaker puts in the frozen pepperoni, mushroom and Itallian sausage pizza in the Flipping Pizza Popper 500....... Bunsen: "Very good......." Bunsen: "Just as you can see, the frozen pizza is in the Flipping Pizza Popper 500, watch and see what happens." Beaker: "Mee, mo mee......" Suddenly, the machine goes hay wire, and Beaker's head gets turned into a beaker shaped pizza head.... Beaker: And Meeping In Alarm Bunsen: "Oh my word, Beaker, not only that you put a frozen pizza in the Flipping Pizza Popper 500, but your head also looks like 1 as well." Beaker: "Mee, mo, mee, mo, mee, mee." Bunsen: "Well, that's all the time we have left for today, see you next time at Muppet Labs, where the future is being made today." Cut back to Statler and Waldorf in the balcony once again....... Waldorf: "Hey, the poor man got his head turned into a cylinder shaped pizza head." Statler: "Well, how does he look?" Waldorf: "Terribly nice and good enough to eat!" Statler and Waldorf: Uncontrollably Once Again Cut back to Kermit onstage....... Kermit: "And now, ladies and gentlemen, it's finally guest star time, so here's our closing musical #." Closing Musical #: Rainbow Connection (2011 movie and guest star version) Kermit: Music On Banjo Perfectly Music Continues Playing Kermit: Why are there so many songs about rainbows and what's on the other side Miss Piggy: rainbows are visions, but only illusions, and rainbows have nothing to hide Fozzie: so we've been told and some choose to believe it I know their wrong, wait and see Gonzo: some day we'll find it the rainbow connection the lovers, the dreamers and me Music Continues Playing Guest Star: who said that every wish would be heard and answered when wished on the morning star Walter: somebody thought of that and someone believed it and look what it’s done so far Rowlf: what’s so amazing that keeps us stargazing and what do we think we might see Lew Zealand: someday we'll find it the rainbow connection the lovers, the dreamers, and me all of us under its spell, we know that it's probably magic Rizzo: have you been half asleep? and have you heard voices? I've heard dem calling my name Janice: is this the sweet sound that called the young sailors? the voice might be 1 in the same Dr. Teeth: I've heard it too many times to ignore it it's something that I’m supposed to be Walter, Floyd, Link Hogthrob, Animal, Kermit, Fozzie, Miss Piggy, Gonzo and Guest Star: someday we'll find it the rainbow connection the lovers, the dreamers and me la, da, da di da, da dum da, da, da, da, dum, di, da, doo..... Fade to another black screen....... Scene 2: Back onstage/the final wrap-up ending Kermit: "Alright, thank you, everybody for coming here tonight, the show's been so wonderful with all of you here." Mildred Huxtetter: "Good thing I didn't get body switched." Kermit: "Anyway, before we go, let's give a nice warm round of applause for Miss (Guest Star's Name), yaaaaay!" The Guest Star arrives onstage. Guest Star: "Thanks, you guys, it's been super awesome being on the show with all of you here." Scooter: "We know, (Guest Star's 1st Name), you're very talented." Guest Star: "Why thank you, Scooter, I appreciate with what you said to me." Kermit: "We'll see you next time on The Muppet Show." End Production Credits Voice Performers *Steve Whitmire *Eric Jacobson *Dave Goelz *Bill Barretta *Matt Vogel *John Tartaglia *David Rudman *Peter Linz *Tyler Bunch Cut back to Statler and Waldorf once more....... Statler: "Hey, Waldorf, do you think working on a body switching machine can be more difficult to test out?" Waldorf: "No, I haven't tested 1 out before in my entire life." Statler: "Then I guess that means science and technology can be a lot of hard work." Statler and Waldorf: Uncontrollably Once More Fade to another black screen...... A memorial dedication saying Dedicated to the loving memories and magic of Jim Henson (1936-1990), Richard Hunt(1951-1992), Erin Ozker (1948-1993), Jerry Juhl (1938-2005), Joe Raposo (1937-1989), Anthony Minghella (1954-2008), Bernie Brillstein (1931-2008), Del Ankers (1916-2008), the great, talented, Jerry Nelson (1934-2012), Jane Henson (1934-2013), Faz Fazakas (1918-2013), John Henson (1965-2014) and Oswald Morris (1915-2014). We'll never forget about all of them. appears on the black screen. Category:The Muppet Show season 6 transcripts Category:Transcripts